तुम्हारी तलाश

जब तुम्हारी तलाश हद से गुज़र जाती है
तब मुझे अपनी गुमशुदगी नज़र आती है

घेर लेती है रात सियाह तसव्वुर बन कर
चांदनी कांच के टूटे हुए ख्वाबों सी बिखर जाती है

मेरा नादान सा दिल और ज़माने भर का मलाल
ओढ़ कर याद तुम्हारी, ये फिकर आती है

जलते पेड़ों में हवाओं के आशियाने थे
देखिये आग ये बुझती है कि बिखर जाती है  

people of newyork

कुछेक हफ़्तों से तुम्हारे ख्वाबों के साथ उठता हूँ
अलसाई आखों में बड़े हसीन लगते हैं
एक नयी कहानी लिए हर रोज़
कभी तुम्हारी हँसी, फ़ोक म्यूजिक के साथ पिरोये हुए
कभी लिए सवाल पूछती आँखें
की कौन सी किताब पढ़ रहे हो आजकल
मैं नींद में होता हूँ जवाब नहीं देता
डरता हूँ कि कहीं किताबों के चक्कर में
ख्वाब न टूट जाएँ
और ये जो दो चार पल मिले हैं तुम्हारे साथ
ये फिर ग़ुम न हो जाएँ
पर फिर भी तुम कहाँ रूकती हो
कल तुम्हारा हाथ पकड़ के रोकना चाहा
तो अलार्म घडी नीचे गिर कर टूट गयी
पूरे कमरे में वक़्त फैला पड़ा है
शाम को जब ऑफिस से आकर
अकेला हो जाऊंगा तब समेटूंगा
फिर पुरानी तस्वीरों के साथ
तुम्हारी दी हुई किताब में रख दूंगा
वहाँ सेफ रहेगा यादों के साथ और फिर
तस्वीरों के पीछे लिखी कहानियां भी तो वहीँ रखीं हैं
शायद इसी बहाने उन पर वक्त की एक और परत चढ़ जाये 

These stars were like flowers with soft petals made of light spread across the floors of the heavens, very unlike of those popular images with five sharp corners. The imagination of men arranged them in articulate shapes out of randomly scattered stars as an evidence to the human propensity of finding patterns when there are none.

Completely unknown to these exciting patterns I was finding my own. They were not as distinct or clear but more like clusters of objects or scenes from a story half forgotten or when I fell asleep in the middle of it.
Then one day my eyes were diagnosed and glasses were put in between my eyes and stars. The flowers shrunk to dim points of light, I never saw the sharp edges though. At least not when I was young.

15 years later I am at the roof of my house which is closer to the sky but I only see city smog illuminated by the city lights rising upwards like fire and among this sea of smog fire there is an island where stars are twinkling helplessly trying to defend themselves. Somewhere deep I know they are  fighting a losing battle. A battle against earthly stars made of LED's, a battle for human imagination and sense of wonder. While the art of looking up is being lost on human race.

I wonder if the stars manifested themselves in to various shapes so even if some of them disappear we will remember them to complete the shapes.

wishlist cook book

Vegetable biryani 

Veg

Layered spicy vegetables, basmati rice and cashew nuts are just the ticket in this traditional vegetarian Indian dish.

Ingredients

• 1 small carrot, peeled, cut into small cubes
• 1 medium potato, peeled, cut into small cube
• ¼ green pepper, diced
• ¼ red pepper, diced
• 25g/1oz French beans, finely chopped
• 50g/2oz frozen peas
• 1 tsp tomato purée
• ½ tsp finely chopped green chillies
• 1 tsp garam masala
• ¼ tsp ground turmeric
• 225g/8oz cooked basmati rice
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 4 roasted cashew nuts, chopped
• ½ tsp cumin seeds, toasted
• ½ tsp red chilli powder
• yoghurt, to serve

Preparation method

1. Preheat the oven to 170C/235F/Gas 3.
2. Cook the carrot, potato, peppers, French beans and peas in a pan of boiling water for 3-4 minutes, or until tender. Drain and return to the pan.
3. Add the tomato purée, green chillies, garam masala and turmeric to the vegetables and mix until well combined.
4. Place half of the rice at the bottom of an ovenproof dish, spread the vegetable mixture on top, and then place the rest of the rice on top, spreading it evenly.
5. Sprinkle the top layer of rice with the chopped onions, cashew nuts, cumin seeds and red chilli powder. Cover with aluminium foil and bake for 15 minutes.
6. Serve with yoghurt.
   
   
   
   
   

   Chickpea curry

    

   Veg

   

   Healthy, cheap and filling: this tasty chickpea curry is perfect for a weekday dinner.

   Ingredients

   • 1 tbsp oil
   • 1 onion, chopped
   • 1 garlic clove, crushed
   • ¼ tsp salt
   • ½ tsp cumin powder
   • ¼ tsp coriander powder
   • ¼ tsp turmeric powder
   • ¼ tsp red chilli powder
   • 1 fresh tomato, chopped
   • 1 x 400g/14oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
   • 5cm/2in piece root ginger, grated
   • pinch of garam masala
   • Pitta breads or plain basmati rice, to serve

   Preparation method

   1. Heat a deep saucepan or a medium sized wok and add the oil or butter followed by the onions and garlic.
   2. Fry the mixture till the onions are caramelised. Then add the salt, cumin, coriander, turmeric and red chilli powders. Mix for a minute and tip in the tomato. Cook the sauce until it begins to thicken.
   3. Add ¼ cup of water and stir. Then tip in the chickpeas and mix. Mash a few of the chickpeas while cooking. Cover and simmer for five minutes. Then add the ginger and the garam masala. Cook for another minute.
   4. Serve with pitta breads or plain basmati rice.

Economic Development vs. Morality

The question about disbelief in judicial system in case of Modi was if we have this disbelief because of political influence then Modi has faced 7 years of his trial under two Congress governments. And specially after 2009 election it was very clear that he is going to be one of the major BJP candidates for the post of the Prime minister of India in next elections. Even knowing so and having political influence of its own as central government if Congress can not prove the case against Modi then either he is not guilty of anything more than negligence or Congress wanted to use this issue as the Achilles' heel in the next election . Even without mentioning 1984 or 1993 it renders it really difficult to believe that Congress is a better choice for ruling party on moral terms.

The Professor pointed out that judicial process is a system and someone else added that in this system it is impossible to prove anything against Modi. Now be careful about this statement as it is not about Modi it is about our own lack of faith in ourselves as a system. We, as a society aiming for justice, do not believe that  we are functioning at the most basic levels of our duty. There can only be two explanations first of which would be external pressure, which is addressed in the first part of this discussion. Second would be our own convictions, like a judge being pro-Hindu or pro-Modi, but wouldn't be the same as we blaming Modi for everything without having proper knowledge about the evidences, and punishing him in the coming elections.
Just keep your eye open for the biases in the articles/documentaries on which you are making up your mind.




The story was pretty much same with the first video. Instead of  portraying the problem fairly the video seemed like provocation to use violent means. One needs to realize in such situations we are against our own people. We don't want to antagonize them, we certainly do not want to force or terrorize them but at the same time we do not want to encourage or romanticize them being against national interests. We want to include them in this development.   

soup noodles :)

Another cooking adventure which turned out quite good.  

Christmas

So I am using my ignored blog as a medium to show off my moderate cooking skills. An empty house and dodgy internet connection pushed me to scary realms of enough boredom and courage that I decided to experiment with my cooking and this post is about this awesome result. 

So here are pics of the steaming curry, curry with rice and me enjoying my food while watching television.

story 1

Vinod was not happy with the situation. His girlfriend had left him just two days ago and now he lost his job too. It was really difficult for him to believe that it was happening just like that. So he went to a park to ease his mind and to relax for a while but in his way, he came across a bar. He could very well recognize the car parked outside the bar. It was his girlfriend's. It was impossible for him to resist the those feelings of confronting her and ask "why not me". So he went inside the bar to look for Ragini but what he saw inside shocked him to death. She was sitting across the hall with Shekhar, the guy who took his job. He lost his temper at the moment. Was it a conspiracy against him or just another prank Ragini has played on him with the help of Shekhar? He went to the place where they were sitting and all of a sudden, hit Shekhar on his head with a bottle of wine. Ragini always knew that Vinod had a bad temper but she never expected something like that for Shekhar who was lying on the floor bleeding heavily. She started running to get away from the accident but Vinod caught her. "How he became such a bad tempered, uncontrollable bag of emotions?", she was thinking in her head while looking for someone who can help. Vinod asked her "why?" and picked up a sharp,broken piece of the wine bottle. She was pleading for mercy but all he could see was a face of a cheater who ruined his life. His hands were shaking with anger and his eyes were burning with the feeling of revenge. That is when something hard hit him on the back of his head. The bartender had come to rescue the girl from the guy who was out of control at the moment. Bartender had also called the cops. She was still not in herself and was trembling with fear. The cops arrested Vinod but he still couldn't understand why her girlfriend, whom he loved so much betrayed her for his enemy so before going with the cops, he asked her. But she was not listening to him, only thing she could think about then was Shekhar who was not looking lifeless by now. She took him to the hospital but Shekhar was in a very serious condition and she had to call her father who was also Vinod's boss to give her the money that was needed for Shekhar's cure. Before she could call her father, she saw Vinod standing on the door of hospital room, she heard two shots and Vinod saying "goodbye love" and rest was only dark before her eyes.

run Forrest run!!

How does it feel like craving for something every moment but not quite getting it. Relief when in pain, food when hungry, water when thirsty, breeze when tired, sleep when distressed, solitude in failure............
I think I know a few of the above unfortunately.

Another sad conversation story.

I went to this shop after dinner and the shop-keeper was watching the match.
I had heard a few noises from common room so I asked him "कौन खेल रहा है?".

He said "India and Pakistan".

Me "I know, बैट्टिंग कौन कर रहा है ?

He "पाकिस्तान" with full innocence.

Me "I know. who is the batsman?"

By this time I think he got baffled enough he replied "आफरीदी and रज्जाक"
Sadly I had seen Razzak being out. But I remained silent to not baffle him more.
And he left me thinking do I look out-worldly or so studious that I would not be knowing it is India Pakistan cricket match today. :(

What is the difference between girls ages:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 - U take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 - U tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 - U don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 - She tells U a story and takes U to bed. At 48 - U tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 - U stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

thank you note

I am feeling exhilarated. I am feeling good about myself. But the only reason is you. I felt you were tensed, apart and unreachable. I had few nights of sleeplessness but dreams of you, thoughts i should say. But no matter how gloomy it gets, no matter how sad i go it takes just a message may be, just a single smiley from you to get me high. I start to feel lucky that i know you, i feel so blessed that you care.
When i am alone i think about you, i think about being around you, being with you, and when i feel you are here i think life is worth it.
Thank you for calling.

moments for lifetime

I will never forget the morning when the first thing i saw was you, the first voice i heard was yours and ...............the pillow fight.
I wish i could have that for time till we both shall live
I just wish.

few pieces from a song

And if you played me all those times
I kind of thought that you'll be mine
But when I realize your world
You're just a happy little girl
You know I'm glad that you're my friend
I hope this story never ends
But there are times I nearly cry
You make me weak I don't know why
I know I'm not the only one
But when all is said and done
You wonder who your date would be
I wonder, Katherine, why not me?

can you spell it for me

me: hello
She: hello ..tuhin
me: no he is not here i am his roommate
she: where is he?
me: probably in some friend's room i am not sure
she: ok can you inform him ka_eri called when he returns
me: yes sure, please can you repeat your name
she: ka_eri
me: kaveri?
she: no kajeri, j for jungle
me: can you please spell it for me
she: J-U-N-G-L....
me: no i meant ....
tuhin arrives

now tuhin also thinks that i don't know the spelling of jungle

.....she said "you don't love me, you don't understand what love is" ....I said "for that matter i don't understand Hahn-Banach theorem also."......she said "stop lying, you don't even know the statement of that"....

.......i said "i love you so much that i can crab crawl a desert for you"......she said "no thats not the po...uh what!!"........she never talked to me again

A few years ago when i was a kid i shared a belief with thousands of kids all over the world that this world is a simple place. To many of us it seemed that there can be no questions unanswered and people seemed to know everything about this world and its working policy. I was a congenital extremist so on top of all i believed that i can understand everything by questioning people which was not a very bad approximation given the data i had that time. People used to answer all my questions with ease. Everything was fine until the day when i came across the question "Who came first egg or hen?". I fell for the mystic appearance of the question in very first speculation. So instead of following my natural instinct to run to my father and confront him with my inability to figure out things i decided take matters in my hands, and it seemed a brave action that time.

I knew that, mysteriously enough, chickens come out of eggs and then they grew to cocks and hens and in turn laid new eggs. But this was merely a fact and had no answer to my question. It could very well phrased using a hen instead of egg as an initial point. It was circular and it contained another questions like, How did the chicken get into the egg in the first place? or How come the life was coming out of a non-living thing?

I guess science progresses this way, you aim for a question,which you have no answer to, then to answer the question you gather information, process it and discover that there are lots of tiny questions for which you have no answers.

But being a kid i was closer to feelings than science and the thought of a newly born chicken inside a hard and dark shell, disturbed me. I did not know it that time but after spiders the thing which scares people most is imagining themselves in exactly the same situation of a newly born chicken, inside a hard and dark shell. You can not see anything, you can not move, i don't know if a chicken can hear sounds from outside the egg. I think it would be scarier if it could hear sounds from outside.

If you ever have seen a hatching you must know how beautiful it is to see arrival of a life from a shell, silent motionless shell, nothing more than a pebble. It can give hope if you observe carefully and may be very inspiring. When I happened to see a hatching in pursuit of my query, I felt happy, I felt happy for the chicken who got life, I felt happy for the hen who got a chicken and i felt happy for me who got hope that hard and dark shells can be broken even if you are inside one of them.

But simultaneously i another question crept into my mind what if the chicken would not have known what to do or how to break its shell? What if he/she would have taken its shell to be the world and never have realized the fact that it could be broken and a beautiful world is waiting outside?

We all have our shells and hide there when we are afraid of being hurt, they may comforting for a while but on 21st day of chickens life shell starts suffocating it. Neither chickens nor us are meant to live in shells. We are supposed to break them and make our life where pain and sufferings are inseparable aspects. Life is more like white light comprised of the redness of love and happiness to blues of pain and dissatisfaction. But inside the shell its just dark.

After a few years I got a satisfactory answer for my original query. But i got a lesson more valuable from my expedition to paradox of egg and hen which goes as "before your shell start suffocating you break it and accept the spectrum".