thank you note

I am feeling exhilarated. I am feeling good about myself. But the only reason is you. I felt you were tensed, apart and unreachable. I had few nights of sleeplessness but dreams of you, thoughts i should say. But no matter how gloomy it gets, no matter how sad i go it takes just a message may be, just a single smiley from you to get me high. I start to feel lucky that i know you, i feel so blessed that you care.
When i am alone i think about you, i think about being around you, being with you, and when i feel you are here i think life is worth it.
Thank you for calling.

moments for lifetime

I will never forget the morning when the first thing i saw was you, the first voice i heard was yours and ...............the pillow fight.
I wish i could have that for time till we both shall live
I just wish.

few pieces from a song

And if you played me all those times
I kind of thought that you'll be mine
But when I realize your world
You're just a happy little girl
You know I'm glad that you're my friend
I hope this story never ends
But there are times I nearly cry
You make me weak I don't know why
I know I'm not the only one
But when all is said and done
You wonder who your date would be
I wonder, Katherine, why not me?

can you spell it for me

me: hello
She: hello ..tuhin
me: no he is not here i am his roommate
she: where is he?
me: probably in some friend's room i am not sure
she: ok can you inform him ka_eri called when he returns
me: yes sure, please can you repeat your name
she: ka_eri
me: kaveri?
she: no kajeri, j for jungle
me: can you please spell it for me
she: J-U-N-G-L....
me: no i meant ....
tuhin arrives

now tuhin also thinks that i don't know the spelling of jungle

.....she said "you don't love me, you don't understand what love is" ....I said "for that matter i don't understand Hahn-Banach theorem also."......she said "stop lying, you don't even know the statement of that"....

.......i said "i love you so much that i can crab crawl a desert for you"......she said "no thats not the po...uh what!!"........she never talked to me again

A few years ago when i was a kid i shared a belief with thousands of kids all over the world that this world is a simple place. To many of us it seemed that there can be no questions unanswered and people seemed to know everything about this world and its working policy. I was a congenital extremist so on top of all i believed that i can understand everything by questioning people which was not a very bad approximation given the data i had that time. People used to answer all my questions with ease. Everything was fine until the day when i came across the question "Who came first egg or hen?". I fell for the mystic appearance of the question in very first speculation. So instead of following my natural instinct to run to my father and confront him with my inability to figure out things i decided take matters in my hands, and it seemed a brave action that time.

I knew that, mysteriously enough, chickens come out of eggs and then they grew to cocks and hens and in turn laid new eggs. But this was merely a fact and had no answer to my question. It could very well phrased using a hen instead of egg as an initial point. It was circular and it contained another questions like, How did the chicken get into the egg in the first place? or How come the life was coming out of a non-living thing?

I guess science progresses this way, you aim for a question,which you have no answer to, then to answer the question you gather information, process it and discover that there are lots of tiny questions for which you have no answers.

But being a kid i was closer to feelings than science and the thought of a newly born chicken inside a hard and dark shell, disturbed me. I did not know it that time but after spiders the thing which scares people most is imagining themselves in exactly the same situation of a newly born chicken, inside a hard and dark shell. You can not see anything, you can not move, i don't know if a chicken can hear sounds from outside the egg. I think it would be scarier if it could hear sounds from outside.

If you ever have seen a hatching you must know how beautiful it is to see arrival of a life from a shell, silent motionless shell, nothing more than a pebble. It can give hope if you observe carefully and may be very inspiring. When I happened to see a hatching in pursuit of my query, I felt happy, I felt happy for the chicken who got life, I felt happy for the hen who got a chicken and i felt happy for me who got hope that hard and dark shells can be broken even if you are inside one of them.

But simultaneously i another question crept into my mind what if the chicken would not have known what to do or how to break its shell? What if he/she would have taken its shell to be the world and never have realized the fact that it could be broken and a beautiful world is waiting outside?

We all have our shells and hide there when we are afraid of being hurt, they may comforting for a while but on 21st day of chickens life shell starts suffocating it. Neither chickens nor us are meant to live in shells. We are supposed to break them and make our life where pain and sufferings are inseparable aspects. Life is more like white light comprised of the redness of love and happiness to blues of pain and dissatisfaction. But inside the shell its just dark.

After a few years I got a satisfactory answer for my original query. But i got a lesson more valuable from my expedition to paradox of egg and hen which goes as "before your shell start suffocating you break it and accept the spectrum".